Kangaroo Jack 2: The Edge of Reason
by The Dream Team X
Summary: It's a last ditch effort to save Louis and Jack as Charlie and his new friends embark on a mission across the globe! Featuring very vulgar language and refrences that people over 24 probably won't get.
1. Dreams Die Hard

DISCLAIMER

We, The Dream Team X, don't own any of these characters, 'nuff said. Please read and review. Rated "R" for pretty much everything in it.

**Kangaroo Jack 2:The Edge Of Reason.**

** By: Dream Team X**

**Chapter 1: Dreams Die Hard**

Baby Fozzie stepped out of his car. His pinwheel hat blew gently in the wind's cold air. "What motherfucker are we gonna have to take down this time?" he said in his gruff voice as he raised his middle finger high in the air, signaling Gonzo to, as he put it, "get the fuck away".

"I've called you men here for one reason alone," said Charley, his voice cracking as usual,"Salvatore...he's had Jack holed up in the pen for weeks, and Louis even longer...he's framed them, for the deaths of 289 kangaroos, a huge crack ring, involvment in the 911 terrorists attacks, and sexual harrasment of a minor."

"Why the fuck should we help you?" shouted Eddie McDowd, his patience already tired. "I've got 11 more motherfucking deeds left, and I ain't gonna let some low down nigger from stopping me from becoming a guy again. I need to be the Grand Wizard of the Klan once again."

"I dunno," said Doug, his green vest and nose covered in a mysterious white powder. "We've got it all, now that we've killed the leader of the Umpah Lompah union."

"No!," said a stranger from behind them. "We do it for justice, and for Alice."

Out of the darkness, the slim figure of Static Shop emerged. "We do it, for the mad crack."

Charlie thought to himself, "How did things go so astray?"

Flashback 1 Month Previous

Louis ran as fast as his weight allowed, "Give a Nigga a break!" A jet black Escalade was hot on his trail. Louis stopped and turned around, "Who the fuck are you guys!?" The car stopped, and a man leaned out of the window, pointing an Uzi at Louis' direction. "HOLY FUCK!" Lous started running once more, trying to avoid the rapid gunfire coming behind him. Another man leaned out of the opposite window and pulled out a rifle, he took aim and landed a round into Louis' fat, black ass. "What the hell!?" Louis yelled, it was only a tranqulizer dart. Another one tore into the opposite cheek, "It takes a lot more than two tranqs. to take down this Nigga," as Louis said this a painful clip of the Uzi's ammo landed into his left leg, "AWW, SHIT!" he yelled.

The car stopped, and a familiar face climbed out. It was Salvatore, "Well, well, what have we here?" he said nonchalontly. "Fuck you man, fuck you!" Lousi spat on Salvatore's sparkling black dress shoes. With this Salvatore kicked Louis swiftly in the mouth, "You won't be doing any fucking any time soon," Salvatore said maniacally, he then snapped his fingers and Carrot Top stepped out of the car, " have you're way with him. He pulled out an unusual prop, one Louis wouldn't be forgetting for a long time to come. And with that, Carrot Top's passionate moans couild be heard throughout the city-scape.

Louis awoke several hours later in a daze, he was in a chair in what looked like an interrogation room. There was a cop, the name tag read "Carl Winslow." "Wh..Where the hell am I?" Louis said. Winslow replied smugly, "You're in jail, Nigga." Louis was aghast, "Jail!? What the fuck did I do!?" Winslow sat a large bag of pure Columbian cocaine on the desk, one Colt .45, and two Cannibas plants. Winslow said, "Don't fuck around with me, Nigga. What were you planning to do? Smoke it? Sell it?" Louis interrupted, "The fuck I was, that shit ain't mine!" Louis stood up and slammed his fists on the table. Winslow snarled, and gave a swift left hook to Louis' already bruised face, "Don't play that shit with me, Fuckface! I know how it goes down around here." Louis coughed, some blood came out, along with a tooth, "Bastard..." Winslow laughed loudly, "Take this fucker to his cell boys." Louis was the grabbed by two other policeman, and drug into a musty cell.

Meanwhile, in the Australian Outback.....

Jackie Legs bent down and took a drink of sandy water in the only decent watering-hole around anymore. The Outback had gone to Hell in the months recent, Poachers now reigned supreme. But something else was wrong, what was that noise polluting Jack's ears. Could it be, gunfire? Jack took off his shades and turned around, two black Jeep Wranglers were rushing towards him, on top of one was a man Jack never wanted to see again, it was Salvatore. "Get the motherfucking Kangaroo." he said, pointing towards Jack.

Eliza Thornberry, head of the Reservation, saw the Jeeps and yelled, "Run Jack, RU...." she was interuppted as an AK-47's blazing bullets ripped through her neck. Jack had to get the fuck outta there. Jack began hopping fast as he could, watching the other kangaroos get mowed down by gunfire. As Jack was hopping to get away, he tripped over an AOL free-trial disc, that had been trashed, as it should have been, laying on the ground. The Jeeps came to a stop, and Salvatore threw a weighted net over Jack. They had him.

**To Be Continued In: **

**Kangaroo Jack 2: The Edge of Reason, Chapter 2: Old Friends**


	2. Old Friends

**Chapter 2: Old Friends**

Back to Presesnt day, Charlie & friends...

Fozzie stepped out of the portable toilet. He stuck a cigar in his mouth and lit it. "Now that I've dropped that fucking piece of shit...," he said in a gruff, yet sincere voice. Moments later, Charlie and the others were in a jeep tearing through the desert outside of L.A. "Holy shit," said Fozzie, "it's pretty motherfucking hot out here." "Yeah,

tell me about it," said Doug, as he buried his head in a mountain of white gold. "I say we ditch the nigger to lighten up this load," said Eddie, glaring at Static Shock. "You piece of dog shit," said a fuming Virgil. Ring, Ring, Ring Charlie's cell phone was ringing

"LOUIS!?," Charlie said in an estatic voice.."These are some sick motherfuckers, Charlie man, help a nigga out here! They putting whipped cream in me, these sick motherfuckers! Oh shit they're back! Get the fuck away you fuckin' sons of bitches!!!...," the screams of Louis trailed off and Charlie was cut off of the phone line. "We haven't got much time," Charlie said.

Boop a joop a doop a joop a joop. The motor was dead. "No, motherfucking way!," screamed Fozzie. "You stupid, motherfucking motherfucker! You dragged us 1,000 miles into a motherfucking desert, with no motherfucking food, and no motherfucking gas no more, and no motherfucking way out! Charlie, you stupid cocksucker! What the hell we gonna do?! Huh?!," screamed Fozzie, who by now, was inches away from Charlie's face.

"Get off!, Don't lose your cool!," said Charlie in his high-pitched, feminine voice. "We'll get out..ok!? Ok?!" Doug ran over from the jeep to where Fozzie and Charlie were. "Charlie, come quick," said Doug in a panic, "it's Eddie." Eddie lay on a towel in the sound. "I just couldn't mothering make it, man. These capitalists mother....," Eddie coughed up blood and was gone. Charlie started out into the desert. "Come on guys."

Meanwhile at Louis and Jack's prision.

Louis was making grabs at the female guard. Jack made a growling noise. "What the ya mean jack!? I'm just trying to get a piece, you motherfucker!," Louis screamed loudly as he made the same spanking movement he made when him and Charlie first met Jesse in Aulstralia. "Yeah!," he screamed.

"Shut it up in there!," said the guard "you've got a real friendly new cell mate comin' in, you'll like him."

Louis was serious for a moment before he ate some cake, and Jack gulped. "That's right," said a voice from behind them. The person stepped forward. "We're in for a long haul, it seems, gentleman." He stepped forward. He had a swastica tattoed on his forehead. "This sick motherfucker killed Slater, Zack, Kelly, Jesse, and Mr. Belding."

"When's he gittin here!?," Louis frightenly said. "He's already here," the jail guard said, stepping back slightly.

The person with the swastica stepped forward and said "Hi, the name's Samuel Powers, but my friends....," he twiched violently, "but YOU can call ME Screech"

A rumble outside their cell. Thunder. The maniac's laughter filled the halls of cell block 17. Louis shat his pants.

Back in the desert....

Doug, Fozzie and Charlie, were lost. Static Shock had deserted them, finding his true love was a man named Gear, back in his home city, of Fagvillie. "What the fuck is that!!!??!?," Doug screamed loudly over a roar of a helicopter's blades. "...very expensive...."

"Oh shit! It's him!," Doug screamed, as Mr. Dink swept out of no where clawing him up in a long penis shaped glove. "Beat me, will you?," Mr. Dink said meacingly as he licked the inside of Doug's ear. "NNNOOO!!!!, SAVE ME!!!!!!!! PLEASE!!!"

Mr. Dink had tied Doug to the bottom of the copter by his shoes, and it was just enough time from Charlie to sneak a throw to Doug. He passed a tracking device to him, and Doug swallowed it, and tears ran down his eyes as he was taken away, back to Bluffington.

Fozzie stumbled into the desert, dropping on his knees, the cigar falling into the sand. "FUCKERS!!!! YOU DIRTY FUCKERS!!!," he bellowed into the emptyness of the dune. "Stop," said Charlie. "We will find a way to save our friends!, we must..." his voice trailed off as he recieved a phone call. The speaker on the other end said in a heavy scottish accent, "Your flight is ready," and with that there was a dial tone.

"Let's go, we've got a plane to catch," said Charlie. "Wait a second, isn't Eddie McDown dead?," said Fozzie. Charlie glanced around for a bit, and began to try and escape Fozzie. But soon enough, they would be embracing each other.

**To be continued in: Kangaroo Jack 2, Chapter 3**


	3. In the Heat of Passion

**Chapter 3: In the Heat of Passion**

Charlie continued through the desert, Fozzie now on his back, completly exhausted. Charlie was feeling weary, everything was blurry. He needed water, as did Fozzie, but they had none. Charlie fell to his knees he thought he was done for, but he heard a noise coming from the horizon, "HYAH, HYAH!" Charlie looked back. It was Cuba Gooding Jr., riding through the dunes on a sled lead by a pack of rambunctious, disapointingly-only-talking-in-dream-sequences-Snowdogs.

"Thought you boys might need a lift." Cuba said. Fozzie was perplexed, "WHAT THE FUCK!?" Charlie thought this was a mirage, "Sure," he replied. Charlie winked at Fozzie, as Fozzie stepped towards the sled. "Thanks!" Fozzie said, wrapping his arms around Cuba's neck. Cuba hugged back. Fozzie smiled maniacly as he took out a switch-blade from his satchel. He thrust it into Cuba Gooding Jr's. neck. "There's your money...Bitch," Fozzie said as Cuba took his dying breath. Charlie smiled, "Let's get the fuck outta here!" They hopped on the sled, riding into the light towards the glist and glamour of Las Vegas, where their plane awaited.

After hours of travel through the desert, Charlie and Fozzie saw the safe haven that was their destination, they had arrived at Las Vegas! "WHOOSH!!!" A large firework zoomed past Charlie's ear, "The hell?" He looked up at the top of Cesar's palace, a large shark-like figure stood there holding a large rocket launcher. "This is **_MY_** city, fuckers!, Nyuck-Nyuck-Nyuck." Fozzie was angered by the shark's arrogance, he took out an AK-47, "Count the shells, cocksucker!" Fozzie yelled. He fired the assault rifle furiously as Charlie lost control of the sled. Charlie and Fozzie rolled onto the charred pavement, The shark jumped down from Cesar's Palace, denting the road. "The name's Jabber Jaw, I own this city and all the motherfuckers in it, nyuck-nyuck-nyuck!" Jabber Jaw lifted Charlie by his hair, and set him down in front of himself. "Suck my dick!" Charlie, was disgusted as Jabber Jaw whipped out his scaly shark-penis. He began swinging it about, once hitting Charlie across the face with it. Fozzie was laughing hysterically, "C'mon Charlie, show 'em how skilled you are in the art of Fellatio!" Charlie, had had enough of this interspecial homoeroticism to say the least. He grabbed the penis by both hands and snapped it in half. "AARGH," Jabber Jaw yelled, " YOU BROKE MY WANG, MY BOTTLE-NOSED-DOLPHIN!!!" Charlie threw the broken organ at Jabber Jaw's horrified face, "YOU suck it," he said.

Jabber Jaw had a toothy grin, and let out a deep moan, another penis had grown in it's stead! Charlie turned pale-white, he stood up and started running, he picked up Fozzie, who was still laughing, along the way. Jabber Jaw was at a sprint, surprising considering his fin-like legs, and having just had his penis ripped off. Charlie saw a parked motrocycle standing on the sidewalk, he hopped on and started turning the throttle. Charlie didn't want to suck a shark-penis, not tonight. Jabber Jaw stopped, and with his mouth, whistled. Suddenly a large semi-truck, mounted with guns, cannons, spikes, and other aquatic creatures fell from the sky. Jabber Jaw took the wheel. Charlie looked behind him, they were hot on his trail. Fozzie turned around and took aim, he began to fire his AK at the aptly named Jabbermobile, but Jabber Jaw retatliated. He began throwing various domestic animals at Charlie's bike, most hit the pavement almost immediatley, their meows and barks echoing. But some hit the bike, causing Charlie to lose control, he skidded off the road ito a crowd of eldery people.

Fozzie lay unconcious on the old folks' corpses. Charlie had a broken arm. Jabber Jaw parked and arched towars them, swinging his newly grown "squid" all around. Charlie knew what was coming, but he was prepared. As Jabber Jaw but his fin-hands on Charlie's head, Charlie took Fozzie's switch-blade out from his satchel, and in one fell swoop cut Jabber Jaws wang off a second time. As Jabber Jaw opened his mouth to make a witty comment, Charlie threw the lifeless penis into Jabber Jaws mouth. Jabber Jaw started gagging, grabbing his throat with his fin-hands, and in less than 1 minute, he was dead.

Charlie picked up Fozzie and lay him down near a phonebooth, which began to ring...

**To be continued in Kangaroo Jack 2, Chapter 4:**


	4. Young Love

** Chapter 4: Young Love**

On the other end of the phone was Launchpad, clad in nothing but a pink thong. He had called on behalf of Mr. McScrooge, the mysterious scottish benefactor who would be arranging the flight for them to Aulstralia, where Salvatore had his stronghold. "Mr. McScrooge is sorry to tell you guys this but, the mob has to many motherfuckers down there for us to even attempt to land a plane."

Fozzie's face cutely contracted in anger. "WHAT THE FUCK!?, HOW are we supposed to GET ON THE PLANE, you duck-billed fuck!?, he screamed. "Settle down you cock eating bear, it'll be easy, easy as sticking your little bear dick in some nice assorted flavors of pie. Taped under the phone booth is a special battery pack, it'll allow you to make a mid-air flight to the plane. This pack will allow Fozzie's pinwheel hat to sustain both of your weights. You could make the entire flight your self if we had enough fuel to do so, it just ain't possible, bitch. Now, if you, the niggers of the animal kingdom, will excuse me, time for Mr. McS's blow job."

He abruptly hung up. Little did Charlie and Fozzie know, even as they were taking the battery pack out from under the phone, a different sort of nigger was watching them. The orange kind. Attaching the pack to Fozzie's back, they were off. They were to report to the airspace south of Las Vegas, and look for a large seaplane. A new chapter in their journey was about to begin.

**Back at the prision.....**

Winslow had hopped on top of the table, he held the ear of an inmate in his hands. "Listen up you fuckers! This is what we do to those that don't listen around here! Especially those that use stolen vehicles to deliver TV sets!"

Louis had been dozing off, when he felt a slight proding at his crotch! "WAFFLES!," he said. "I'm so glad you,...." he was inturrepted by a gunshot. Waffle's brains splattered all over the prision cafeteria. He was dead. Winslow whipped the colt 45. back into the holster on his belt.

"FUCKER! What'd you do that for!?" "Shut the fuck up Louis! I call the shots around this jail! I am the king! I am the king, I am..." He was inturrupted by Screech, who had jumped up and sank his teeth deep into the testicles of Carl.

The scream echoed throughout the entire county. Some people even say, on cold nights, you can hear Carl Winslow, moaning in pain, the pain of a testi freshly bitten into.

Louis was really starting to resent things around here. Screech was put into solitary confinement. Little did Louis know, he was about to become king of the prision. It would all start with a simple wager..

**Southern Las Vegas Airstrip.**

Charlie and Fozzie pulled close to the large seaplane, and a cargo door opened. Inside they were greeted by a large bear, who Fozzie rechognized as his old buddy he'd used to pass around the crackpipe with. "Baloo, you motherfucker!, How ya been big guy? Keep the old bear balls plump?" "Lord knows I try, little guy, I try," said Baloo in a jolly voice. "Say can you go get those mechanics? They're supposed to be in the back room repairing something.."

Charlie opened the back door to find Max, son of the new infamous baby killer Goofy and his ex-neighbor Pete's son, PJ, making out. Their lips were locked in passion. When they noticed Charlie they tried to hide it, but the damage was done.

Fozzie rushed to the front of the plane. "Charlie!!! COME LOOK AT THIS NIGGER, quick!"

Outside the plane, a pair of hairy orange arms were clutching the plane.

**To be continued in: Kangaroo Jack 2, Chapter 5**


	5. Jungle Boogie

**Chapter 5: Jungle Boogie**

**At the Prison...**

Louis sat in the corner of his cell, it was empty. Jackie was out with three of his bitches, two white men named Ralph and "Butta," and a Mexican fellow whose name Louis didn't know. Jackie was fairing better Louis, Louis hated it here, after the tragic death of his beloved dog Waffles, the only thing keeping him sane was masturbation. It was the only release (literally) he had from this place, those 2 1/2 minutes were Heaven to him. The darkness filled the room, the only sound the gentle slapping, "Fap, fap, fap" that Louis was so accostomed to. Winslow limped to Louis' cell, having not fully recovered from Screech's little after dinner snack. Louis stared at him, "Go away." he said staring down at his genitals. "Missin' your dog, motherfucker?" Winslow said with malice. Louis' fist clenched, and he threw a fresh gloop of love-juice at Winslow's face. Winslow wiped his splooge-ridden face, cringed, and grabbed the bars of the cell. "LISTEN COCKSUCKER, YOU CAN SIT HERE JERKIN' OFF ALL DAY, BUT THAT DOESN'T CHANGE THE FACT. YOUR IN HERE FOR A LONG TIME!!!" Winslow stormed off as fast he could, missing testicle and all.

It was lunch time, Jackie tried to nudge Louis out of his corner, but Louis wouldn't budge. "I'm not hungry Jack, go ahead without me." Jackie sighed, put his arm around Butta's shoulder, and went off to the cafeteria. Which was still stained with the scattered remains of what used to be Waffle. Louis was lying, he hadn't eaten in days. No one was around anymore, they were all at lunch, Louis did what he had been doing the past thre days: He reached into the mangy toilet and grabbed out a large turd. He stared at log, disgusted, but hunger overcame. Louis sank his teeth into the what was now delicious looking piece of shit. The smell was horrible, but the taste was something Louis had grown to accept. He finished it in about three bites, he looked at his pooey fingers, and began to cry.

**Meanwhile in the cafeteria...**

Winslow jumped onto one of the tables, he started to kick trays out from the inmates who were eating off of them. He kicked Jackie's nameless Mexican lover on the side of his head. He took out a cane and a top hat, and began to sing:

_"It's a hard cock life, for you._

_And there's nothin' you can do._

_Gonna be here, all your life_

_Gonna be here, all you life_

_Get a prison...wife!_

Everybody in the cafetreia was amazed by Winslow's lyrical genious, was this rehearsed? WInslow started to laugh, as he began to kick everyone on the table. He had a new-grown sense of courage after Screech was put in Solitary Confinement. Jack said, "Marawww." Winslow stopped dancing, threw off his hat and turned to Jack, "Watch your mouth, you dirty Australian Nigger!" Jack stood up and gave a bouncing kick to Winslow's stomach, knocking the wind out of him. Winslow got up and looked at the other guards, "Get thts motherfucker." This wild up the other inmates, and within minutes a riot insued. Louis could hear the fighting from his cell, where he was finishing up another round of feces, "The hell..."

Louis walked towards the cafeteria and saw among the brawl: Jackie break two guards' necks with strong kicks to their faces, Butta' in a neckhold by a rookie officer, but the thing that made Louis snap was the sight of ol' "Sheephead" being beatdown by Winslow. That was just wrong, Sheephead had nothing to anyone. They called him Sheephead because his step-father had molested him as a child. That's how Sheephead had gotten in the slammer in the first place, he had killed his step-dad. Louis' hips started girating, his pelvis was moving out of control... Louis jumped up on a table, he began to sing:

_Sweet Dreams are made of these..._

_Who am I to disagree?_

_I'll kick you so hard, with blood you'll pee..._

_Sweet Drea................_

Louis was interrupted by Winslow's foot in his nuts. "You ain't a singer, boy." Louis' pupils dilated, he couldn't feel below his waist. Winslow laughed hysterically, he then backed away from Louis, cracked his knuckles, touched his toes, and began to sprint towards Louis. "KIAI!!!!" Winslow had administered a punishing Dragon-Kick. Louis flew off the table to the wall opposite the cafeteria. Winslow stretched, everyone stood silent in the cafeteria. "Lock this motherfucker up."

**To Be Continued in: Kangaroo Jack 2, Chapter 6**


	6. The Fire Burns On

**Chapter 6:The Fire Burns On**

The orange arms flipped the suit and trilby hat-clad King Louie onto the wing of the seaplane. Fozzie loudly remarked, "There's a motherfucking monkey on the wing! There's a motherfucking monkey on the wing!" Louie, in a very surreal way, almost like he was a cartoon orangutan, and not a real one, pulled a tommy gun from mid air. His voice was loud and hard, so that they could hear it over the roar of the air outside of the plane. "I'll give you motherfuckers till' the count of ten to get the Hell out!, one...two......TEN!!!"," by now everyone had ducked down inside of the plane. Louie opened fire, and the plane's motor caught on fire. "That'll teach you motherfuckers to mess with Sher Khan."

It was about this time that Louie spit out the twenty-two dollars in change he had been chewing on, because as we all know, he's one badass motherfucker. Suddenly a window of the side of the plane was shattered. Baloo hopped onto the wing, with an RPG, and in what was probably a bigger mistake than letting a small boy come into contact with a rabies infeseted bear, blew off his own wing.

PJ said, in that ever so famous line of his, "C'mon max, let's get the fuck out of here." And they held hands and jumped using the only parachutes. Baloo stood on the stump of the wing. He was satisfied. He took a dump in his pants, to signify his feelings. He let the RPG drop off the wing. Suddenly, Louis appeared behind him , his neck was being tightly grabbed by the "damn" monkey. A stuggle began. After 2 days straight, Baloo managed to throw off Louie, by doing this he lost his balance, and plummeted to his death along with Louie, he once again shit on the way down.

Fozzie and Charlie stared off into the sky for along time, amazed at how long a plane with no motor and one wing had remained in the air. That's when it nose-dived. They were heading straight into the Atlantic Ocean. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!

**.................15 minutes later.............**

Fozzie and Charlie woke up around the same time. "What the hell happened...?," moaned Fozzie in a daze "I feel like I've been in Mexico all over again.." Charlie and Louis had survived, but only barely. In a sick way, identical to the time Baloo and his love-slave Mowgli had drifted downstream, they had been saved, by Baloo's rotting corpse. It had carried them inland! But, they were in the Gulf of Mexico, and south of the border.

They walked up to the fence. Fozzie looked down and said, "Charlie..there's something I need to tell you." "Yeah?" "I'm from Mexico." "So?" I'm not supposed to be in America. I'm an illegal alien."

They walked up into border control. This wasn't the first time Charlie would have to sneak "goods" into a country. Charlie took a deap breath, and with a sharp frill, shoved Fozzie into his anus. He walked up to the Guard who said "Well, Mr., you aren't carrying any heavy loads tonight?" "No, sir." "Can you empty you bowels please?" "WHAT?!" "I said, can you empty you bags please." Charlie opened up Fozzie's satchel. The guard spotted an Ak-47, a switch blade, a socom pistol, a bow, a mace, a tazer, and 24 pounds of Marijuana. "Move along,sir." "Thanks," said Charlie. Charlie walked up to the final gate. "Sir, what will you be doing in America?" "Camping." "And how long will you be crapping, excuse me, camping?" "Two days, give or take a redbook."

Charlie clenched, and slowly Fozzie's screams became clearer. "IT'S MOTHERFUCKING NASTY IN THERE!" "Yeah, I know, but more importantly, we've got to find a ride, and soon."

There it was, with the swiftness of man, and muppet, they hopped onto the back of a truck, filled with illegal immigrants. Things went peacefully up untill midstate Virginia. Charlie's cell phone rang. A mysterious voice on the other end, did not give him time to speak. "Muhahah, if the truck goes under 14 miles per hour, it will explode!!!!!!!" The sound of struggled laughter could be heard. "Ok," said Charlie and Fozzie as the hopped off the back of the truck. The truck pulled up to a red light, and exploded. The sterotypical mexican screams could be heard for miles. What horror.

"I need you motherfuckers to pull a job for me! I need you to steal the.....Articles of CONFEDERATION!!"

**Expected pause.**

"There, might be a...treasure map...on...well, I'VE GOT YOUR MOTHERFUCKING FRIEND HERE, MAN!"

Charlie heard Jesse scream. "NOOO!!! LEAVE HER ALONE!!!, "Charlie screamed. "No."

"Now, fellas, I've arranged a little ride for you to D.C., you'll pull the job, and meet me at a dropoff point in South Jersey."

Fozzie let out a nervous laugh, "Fuck no, I ain't going back there!"

"You have to, now, the ride is approximatly 20 feet in front of you.," the voice said. "I'll see you then, Mr. Bond. SHIT 7 OUT!"

Charlie and Fozzie approached what appeared to be the Oscar Meyer Weiner-mobile. It was time to take down the man, at the source.

**Meanwhile, at the prison...**

Louis lay back in his cot, his body still aching from the physical punishment he'd recieved from Winslow no less then 2 days ago, and was startled as Kangaroo Jack collapsed on the floor. Louis screamed out "NOOO!!!! FUCKIN' WINSLOW, MOTHERFUCKER, WHY!?!?!??!!!?"

**Back to Charlie & Fozzie...**

Fozzie and Charlie, both had coon' masks on as they snuck into the compound. They snuck down the hall and reached their target.

"Wait a second!, this isn't the motherfucking Articles of Confederation.., this is the Declaration of Independance," screamed Fozzie. "How are we supposed to get the map!?"

"You aren't," said an approaching security guard with the name tag 'Griff'.

"Let's run!" Fozzie grabbed the hoverboard he had found in Lincoln's bedroom and they were off.

**To Be Continued In: Kangaroo Jack 2, Chapter 7**


	7. The Limit

**Chapter 7: The Limit**

Louis scoopped Jack's body into his arms, struggling under the weight and his own injuries, he went to the door of Winslow's office. Louis put down Jack, and with all of his might he kicked open the door. "WHAT THE FUCK WINSLOW, WHAT THE FUCK!!!?" Winslow acknowledged Jack's body, "Oh my, what happened to your friend there?" Louis snarled, "Cut the shit, _you_ did this Winslow!!!" "Yeah, what if I did? Ain't shit you can do about! Well, look at the time, ain't it about time you got your fat-nigga-ass to the cafeteria?" With that Louis picked up Jack and took him the the hospital wing.

Louis looked at Jack's bruised face, it would a couple weeks before he'd be on his feet again. Then, he felt a rumbly in his tumbly, it had been a good two days since Louis had eaten.

His cell was too far, he'd have to eat...in the cafeteria.

Louis nonchalontly got in the back of the line, it'd be a while till he got his food. Louis examined the people in front of him, and he saw a small opening, it was now or never if he was going to cut in the line. Louis quietly whistled as he edged gently between the opening. But then, he tripped. Louis' face landed firmly into the cushiony buttocks of a large inmate he'd never seen before. The tall, muscular figure turned around. "What the fu-huu-huck!!!?

The man grabbed Louis by the neck, lifting him several feet off the ground, and slammed him against the wall. The freakish figure had a very muscular body, one Louis had never seen the likes of. The head however was small, dopey, and the neck was thin. "The names Goofy, bitch. You tryin' to cut line here nigga?" Louis grabbed Goofy's masculine hands, "Back off man!" Goofy dropped him. "I've been in here long enough, I've paid my dues, man! Now I deserve a little food, and I ain't waitin'! If there's one thing you learn in here, let it be this: Don't get between a hungry nigga and his chicken!!!" Goofy backed away, "Garsh." Louis sighed, "So you steppin off or what?" Goofy made a grim face, "Fuck no."

Within minutes Louis was lying on the floor, crying, bleeding. He had been robbed of his manhood, violated by the dippy dawg, Goofy. Butta', Ralph, and the mexican helped Louis to his feet. .As people passed by in the halls leading to the cells they'd stop, laugh, and call Louis "Goof's Puss" Butta' and Ralph left as they got to Louis' cell. The never-speaking-mexican stayed.

"Louis." He looked up, he'd never heard the mexican talk before, "The time has come, you must prevail." Louis was aghast, the mexican was so well-spoken, especially for a Mexican. "Prevail, what the hell you talking about man?" "We all saw what Goofy did to you today, no doubt his studerring laughs of pleasure will haunt your dreams tonight?" "Where you goin with this, man?" "Let me tell you a little something about Goofy: He was sentenced for life 7 years ago, after he single-handedly killed 854 babies, crippled retarded babies. He's tough, you can't beat him with your fist." Then how the fuck do I get him?" "Goofy, is a fan of the dance." And with that, the mexican turned into sand, and blew out of the cell, spiraling into the night. "What the fuck?"

**One day later, Lunch Time...**

Goofy and his cronies were sitting at a table laughing, making crude hand gestures, when Louis marched over. Goofy looked up, "Well, well, well. Sorry nigga, but I don't need any pussy right now." Louis laughed sarcastically, "Fuck you, you fuckin mutt." Louis slammed a flyer advertising the prison's annual dance party. "I hear you dance pretty well for a castrated beagle, so come on: You, me, DANCE OFF!" Everyone sittind around Goofy gasped as they moved away from the table. Goofy stood up, clenching his fist. He rolled up his right sleeve, revealing a scar obviously made by a razor blade. It read: DANCE 4 LIFE. "You name the time, ass-digger. I'll be there!" Louis said confidently, "Dance Night, 11:45."

And with that Louis walked out of the cafeteria.

**MONTAGE SET MUSIC AS "THE LIMIT"**

1. Louis trains his body, trying to become more adept at the dance, but falls down.

2. Louis hits a punching bag, but hurts his hands.

3. Louis plays Ralph at DDR, Louis is easily outclassed. Butta' shakes his head slowly in shame.

4. Louis reluctantly digs ito a feces sandwich. Cringing at the taste.

5. Louis trains his body, this time stumbling only once, and quickly gets on his feet again to try again.

6. Louis is able to get in more hits on the bag before tiring.

7. Louis slowly becomes more of a competetor for Ralph. Butta' scratches his chin in curiosity.

8. Louis bits into the feces sandwich more fiercly, finishing quickly.

9. Louis trains flawlessly, not falling once.

10. Louis hits the punching bag, sending it flying with only 2 punches.

11. Louis gets AAA on Heavy Mode, using two dance pads. Ralph and Butta' turn towards eachother and nod in approval

12. Louis finishes the feces sandwich in one bite, then leisurly licks his fingers. "I'm ready"

**MONTAGE /END**

**Dance Night....**

**To Be Continued In Kangaroo Jack 2, Chapter 8**


	8. Bayou Country

**Chapter 8: Bayou Country**

They zoomed out onto a huge pool. The guard named Griff was behind them. "Mcfly, you BOZO, you can't fly, unless you got POWER!," he said, as he pulled out his hoverboard and a powercase. "Not to worry my friend," said Fozzie as he hummed "_Hit me baby, one more time" _by Britany Spears. He pulled out an RPG Launcher. He shot Griff, blasting him to pieces. The blast also gave them propulsion to get across the pool.

They jumped into the Weiner Mobile, and thrusters activated in the back. They flew up, and away for miles. How were they going to explain this to their "employer?"

The thrusters failed and the Weiner Mobile crashed into a large swamp. "Where are we?" said Charlie. "Bayou Country," said Fozzie in a low-toned serious voice. "forty-five years ago, Scooby Doo, my dad, caught a Zombie in this VERY, motherfucking nigga infested bayou."

"LOOK OUT, it's Swamp man." After two hours..they...uh...beat him. Then they traveled through the bayou. For days. And days. And days...

**The Aulstralian Outback.**

"Franky, I'm glad you are back," said Salvatore in his sly voice. "Dad, I took care of Snoop, and the Sponge. They won't do us no bad no more." "They'll be back son, they always come back."

**The Edge of the Swamp.**

"Motherfuckin' fresh air, my nigger, fresh air!!," screamed an estatic Fozzie. "So my negros," said Dick Dastardly, in full-pimp attire. "You got da papas are wat?"

"No you motherfucker! Are you crazy! There was a guard man, a guard at the white house. We didn't anticipate this, besides they wouldn't keep the document as important as the Articles at the White House," said Fozzie. "Get these bitches, Muttley baby." "HEH, HEH, HEH, HEH," whinced Muttley.

Charlie pulled a shotgun point blank at Muttley. He fired. Muttley's brains splattered on Dick Dastardly's rocket car.

"We don't have time to play games, nigger," said Charlie. "We need a ride, NOW!"

"Sure, thing, baby...," said a shaken Dastardly. "Take my rocket car...,just please, don't kill, the real Muttley." "FINE, let's go, NOW, Fozzie."

They skidded down the road. Charlie caught the sight of something coming in his rear veiw window. Dastardly!?

It was Donna's first "big" Slumber Party. She'd been dreaming about this for who knows how long. She could remember it as early as since she was seven. Oh, how she had always wanted something special, something great. Maybe she'd even impress Devin. Oh, Devin, his golden locks, his blue eyes were so amazingly beautiful to her. She had many a night dreamed about them together on a sun-bathed beach, her and Devin, their eyes locked in passion, the kids playing in the waves.

Ding Dong! The first guests had arrived. There was Julie, Pat, Steven, Derek, Jon, Susan, Beth, and..oh...it couldn't be. Those stylin' clothes, that wavey hair, those dreamy eyes...it was...Devin. "Hu...hu....,"Donna stuttered. Susan nudged her, "Say something!" "Hi, Devin"

The wild boy Steven steeped in the threshold, "Let's get this party started!!" "Yeah!," said Beth. "_Quit Playing Games With My Heart,"_ by the Backstreet boys was on. The music took them through the night. Donna was doing dance moves she never even thought possible, pretty soon shw got up enough courage to go to Devin, and he actually invited her into the kitchen.

Meanwhile, back inside the living room they guests were watching "_Scooby Doo 2"_ "Light as a feather, stiff as...," they all said together as they lifted up Jon, when suddenly Pat heard a scream off in the distance. "What was that noise?" said Pat, now slightly worried. "THIS AIN'T FUCKIN' POSSIBLE!" "Die, bitches!, get em' Muttley!" They were frightened now, they all huddled toward the center of the room. RIIIIIIIIIIP, the sound of plaster, wood, and other parts of the wall could be heared, as Charlie and Fozzie ripped through the house in their rocket car, the initial force of the car rollling through trampeled Pat and Susan immediatly, killing them instantly. Their fragile bodies were squezed under the heavy-duty tires, their blood and insides being rapidly expelled onto the surrounding walls. Derek has jumped out of the way in time, but his body was too trampeled in the falling roof, the same roof that fell near Jon, not killing him, but severing his head, which had a permanent look of fear imbedded on it's face. Luckily Julie survived. She stood up and cried. She wouldn't be sad for long, as she would be joining her friends soon, with the exception of Jon, who was Jewish and condemned to eternal hell. Fozzie's AK-47's fire, which had been shot in an attempt to stop a yet unforseen pursuer, ripped through her torso, not killing her instantly, oh no, this would give her a slow and painful death. Not too slow, because by the time Devin and Donna had stopped kissing to come out and investigate, she was already gone.

They stood there. Confused, and at a loss. Suddenly Dick Dastardly and the "real" Muttley ripped through in a jet car, trampeling them both, but not killing them, however both Devin's legs were crushed and Donna was losing blood fast. She died in his arms. Devin looked up. The strange people in the cars were gone, just as quick as they came. Devin weeped. His legs were gone. His friends were gone. his life was ruined. He crawled over to the dresser, and pulled open the first drawer he could reach. A Colt .45. He lurched against a wall. "FUCK, YOU WORLD, FUCK YOU MAN!!" he screamed as he pulled the tigger. The bullet ripped through his skull and brains, killing him in an instant.

**Back at the Car.**

Fozzie blasted Dick's car with a rocket. It exploded on contact. They had finished the job in the best way they knew, with moxy. "Yeah, I'd like a double-cheese with fries, and a coke," Charlie said as he pulled up with satisfaction to the Bojangles drive through, they were somewhere in South Carolina, because as we all know, Amendment 17 on the U.S. Constitution clearly states, there are to be no Bojangles north of the Mason Dixon line.

**New York City-A Downtown Club-Bear's Place**.

The based up figure of Shaggy approched a large chair. "Like, Podgy has news, Dastardly's dead. Like, no articles, man."

This was met by the response of a light british voice "Motherfucker."

He picked up a phone. "Get me Salvatore."

**To Be Continued In Kangaroo Jack 2, Chapter 9**


	9. Breakdown

**Chapter 9: Breakdown**

Louis opened the doors to the cafeteria, now clear of all tables. He cracked his knuckles, clad in red sweat pants, a red track jacket, red Chuck's, and a red sweat band, Louis was feeling confident. Goofy stood at the opposite wall, he wore a lime-green leotard, leaving nothing to the imagination. Butta' approached Louis, a boombox resting on his shoulder, "Ready Lou?" Louis smiled, "Let's do it."

There was utter silence, everyone cleared the floor as Goofy and Louis approched each other. They came face to face, and there was a pause. "You ready you punk-ass busta'?" Goofy said, spit hitting Louis' face. "Let's go, bitch!" Louis replied, wiping the saliva off his face onto Goofy's.

Butta' laid down the boombox and hit 'Play', a classic hip-hop song started playing, one Louis was very familiar with: "Rapper's Delight" Louis was first. Louis' arms moved in a precise manner, matching each "hip" and "boogie" perfectly. Then he jumped in the air landing in a split, pulling himslef up by his own collar. He stood up and pointed to Goofy.

Goofy snapped his finger, his legs seemed to go limp. In a matter of seconds Goofy was on his hands spinning his seemingly boneless legs about, he was like a top or dradle or something. He slowed down, and now lying in a position with his arm supporitng his head, he pointed to Louis.

Things were getting heated now. Louis bent his legs, and pulled a Charlie-Brown, followed by a 360 crotch-grab-pivot-plevic-thrust!!. He stopped spinning and whilst holding onto his sausage he let out a high-pitched screech, "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" He pointed to Goofy.

Goofy put his arms behind his back, and began to walk like a chicken. He then spun and grabbed a chair, he began dancing with it. Dirty Dancing. It seemed as though he had made love to the chair, or at least raped it. Finally, he turned around and smacked his ass, then pointed to Louis.

Louis was pulling out all the stops, first he started with a mild robot, followed by a ferocious worm. But this move.... Goofy saw what Louis was preparing to do, that move couldn't be countered, it was almost considered taboo. Goofy had to stop Louis. Goofy decided to use his ultimatum: Began spinning on his head, with NO CARDBOARD, there was a large gasp in the crowd, even Louis stopped. The faster Goofy spun the more Louis hurt, until Goofy came to a sudden stop. Louis paused, "What the!?" Louis' body began to bruise, "AHHH!!" With the force of a rabid prairie dog in heat, Louis flew back, hitting the wall, cracking it.

Louis coughed up blood, "What was that " more blood was expelled. "Aww shit man, shit"

Goofy himself had suffered the effect of the move, he was feeling dizzy. What Goofy had done, was something never seen before. How could you headspin without cardboard!!!? Louis looked up at the ceiling, "Dammit, I thought I could man" A new figure emerged through the door. It was Jackie! "JACK!" Louis yelled, "JACK!!!!" Louis had a new grown strength, he stood up and turned, "This one's for you Jack."

Louis walked towards Goofy, "It's over mutt-fuck." Goofy laughed, "You can't do anything now, my Cardboardless Headspin is unbeatable." Louis grinned, "I don't think so."

Louis stood back, "Goofy, I am...the lord...of...THE DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANCE!!!" As Louis yelled a green dance aura encircled him. Louis' feet were moving at super sonic speeds, but his upper-body stayed mysteriously still. Goofy stood mesmerized, "N...n...NO, THE RIVERDANCE!!!" Louis paused, "Damn straight" The dance overtook Goofy, ripping his muscular body to shreds, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

In a flash of light it was over, Louis stood wheezing for air in front of the massive crater he'd created. He looked down and saw that his pants had been burned off, "I did Jack, this prison....is mine!!!" Winslow sighed, "Louis, Louis, Louis. When will you learn your place?" Louis looked around 20 guards surronuded each exit. Winslow yelled, "Get him!"

**To Be Continued In Kangaroo Jack 2, Chapter 10.**


	10. New York Blues

**Chapter 10:New York Blues.**

**PART I: The Setup**

Fozzie, Charlie, edged out to the side of the roof. The never thought they would be here. It all started when they got a call from a local drug baron, Rupert "White Baron" Bear, in return for a couple of favors they would be on their way to sweet Aulstralia. Their first job, kill a rouge, named Nanny. Fozzie objected, but here they were, they sat on top of the building across the street from Nanny's work place. Podgy, Rupert's right hand pig, sat in the helicopter, getting ready for escape. It was showtime. They saw Nanny come out of Tyrone's Strip Joint, Nanny's old stomping grounds. Fozzie, a tear in his eye, lined up Nanny's figure in the crosshairs of his sniper rifle. **BANG!** Seconds later the figure of Carl "Nanny" Atwoski, the famous baby kidnapper and rapist fell limp on the pavement. The copter took off in advance, so they climbed up a latter to get there.

"We did your mothefucking bear, give us tickets to Aulstralia NOW!," Fozzie screamed. "Yeah," cracked Charlie's voice, his estrogen levels surely peaking by now. "One last job. One last job," said Rupert.

**The Loading Bay.**

Charlie hopped into a black van, this seemed too familiar. Fozzie rode shotgun. They were to deliever the shipment to a warehouse down on the docks. They drove down there. The cops soon noticed the black van as a stolen vehicle, and began pursuit, by using crazy tactics they narrowly escaped. They found the warehouse. Charlie slid open a large black door. No lights. They loaded up a shipment of televison sets onto a large cart, rolled them inside a bit, and then turned around to shut the large door. Once they were in the middle they heard the clang of the door being locked, from the inside. The lights flipped on. Around 50 of Salvatore's men stood in the building, each brandishing their own weapons, the long list included, AKs, 45s, Nines, and RPGs. They poised for attack.

Fozzie ducked to miss a round of bullets and screamed, "THIS WAS A MOTHERFUCKING SETUP!" Charlie never lost his cool. "I planned on this one Fozzie." Charlie unlocked the door, and ran up the stairs, the same ones him and Louis had climbed so long ago. Fozzie followed. Charlie's quick thinking had stunned the gangsters, as well as let the hoards of police in that were chasing them from before. Charlie slid down the same vent in the warehouse into the water. "Come on Fozzie!" he screamed. "No, way man, I'll absorb to much!" "You have the right to remain..," a voice trailed off. The Man had Fozzie.

Charlie swam, somehow flailing his way into the coast. He grabbed a nearby bike. "City jail. Small time, this won't take long. And besides, that bust reduced Salvatore's army substantially. That motherfucker'll PAY! And I can't forget that son of a bitch Rupert. They'll both pay."

**2 hours later, at the county jail.**

Fozzie had finally found peace. He was starting to realize the cruelties of the outside. He lay back on his cot, which was then blasted across the room. "Fozzie, I'm here to save ya, let's ride!" said Charlie, who stood at a newly blown hole in the wall, a rocket launcher in hand. "Here take this," he said tossing Fozzie a Flamethrower. "Fine...," Fozzie sighed as he torched the prision and hopped on the motorcycle with Charlie, the motorcycle that he bought with 1 and a half hours of whoring himself out to the guys down at the pool hall.

Fozzie and Charlie rode up to Rupert's Crack Emporium, they stood outside for a long time before they busted in. "DIE MOTHERFUCKERS!" they said this in unison. They had spent some of the time outside practicing. They pumped various animals full of lead. They climbed 65 floors of madness. At floor 64. Things got difficult. A drunken, haggard Podgy lurched out of the shadows with a revolver. "DIE YOU BASTARDS!" he screamed as he pumped Fozzie's small body full of lead. Fozzie flew back and hit the wall. Charlie was enraged, he pulled out an AK-47, and shot Podgy once in the head, his skull cracked, and brains splattered onto Charlie's clothes, he then shot Podgy's body, which was already dead, but he was emotional, and it was his period, so he did it anyway, and blood splattered everywhere. The room was almost completly red, but there was traces of pink brains and a brown stained large intestine. Charlie kneeled down next to Fozzie, and held his body in his arms. "Buddy, you are ok right?! RIGHT!?" "Not this time," he paused to cough up blood "Go get em' tiger" Fozzie slumped backwards. Charlie lay him down in the center of the room. "It's time you white motherfucker", Charlie climbed the stairs to the 65th floor. The floor where his destiny awaited.

**PART II:The 65th Floor**

Rupert sat in his chair, various wildlife hunting magazines spread out on his table. He was satisfied. His men were taking this town, he helped Salvatore take out that skinny white boy motherfucker, and now it was time, for him to take Salvatore's men out. "I knew you'd come," said Rupert, just as Charlie entered. "It's through!" said Charlie. "I'm not gonna take it anymore." "TOO BAD YOU MOTHERFUCKING, MOTHERFUCKING, MOTHER, MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!." Rupert roared as he pulled a pistol and quickly sprung out of his chair, placing the gun against Charlie's forehead. "IT'S OVER COCKSUCKER!, IT'S OVER!!, THIS IS MY MOTHERFUCKING TOWN, THESE ARE MY MOTHERFUCKING BITCHES! I OWN IT, ME, YOU MIGHT TAKE OUT MY MEN HERE, BUT I HAVE THE UNTAPPED ZOO IN CENTRAL PARK...YOU DIRTY, HUMAN, MOTHER......," Rupert was cut short. Suddenly his head was gone. The remnants of blood and brains splattered against the wall. "WHAT THE !?" said Charlie. The small figure of Fozzie stood in the doorway, he had shot Rupert's head off with a shotgun. "I'm alive...I should be dead. But we got a call man. A phone call, we gotta help this guy out, it's Doug. He's in Bluffington, it's not to far, let's go." "How'd you survive."

Fozzie said nothing. "Come on Charlie, let's go!" Charlie did not question this. Last time he questioned it, he got Fozzie's dick down his throat. They went up the roof and climbed into the helicopter, and started the jounrey toward Bluffington.

**To Be Continued In Kangaroo Jack 2, Chapter 11**


	11. Mr Dink's Molestation Adventure

Chapter 11: Mr Dink's Molestation Adventure

Mr. Dink stood over Doug, who just so happened to be strapped down to a chair, and tugged his zipper down, revealing a massive freakish, 11 inch purple cock. It was dripping wet, because Mr. Dink was aroused, and horny, big time. He went to his very expensive fridge, opened the door, and pulled out a stick of butter, he cut the aluminum that held it, took a ruler, and measured an approximate 1 inch sheet of butter and then cut it loose from the stick with a rare Timbukinaki tribe butter knife. Then he took the butter and wrapped it around the base of his dick shaft, and messaged it in soft at first, then more vigourous, and the veins in his neck began to tighten as he did this.

Doug began to become noticealby frightened, and even more so as Mr Dink pulled down Doug's pants, revealing the modest boy's modest size wang. Mr. Dink was still rubbing butter into his member, and his balls tightened, then Mr. Dink's eyes rolled back into his head, and he said "One thing you should learn about inventors, Douglath..," then Doug's shaken nervous voice managed to crack out the words, "What's that Mr...Mr...D-d-d-d-dink?" "THEIR CUMS RED BOY, IT'S RED BITCH!" and with this Mr. Dink began to spray his red body fluid all over Doug's chest and face, Doug felt the stickyness all over, and Mr. Dink went limp. He sat down and opened up a cosmo magazine.

"This looks interesting," he said as he noticed a sex tip in the book, "position 19!" and with this the machiene rotated, and Doug was now bending over, and by this time he was crying of course. Mr. Dink went around to the front of Doug, his and his Flaccid Daddy started to get hard again, Doug's mouth was being held open by two mechanical arms, and Mr. Dink just let it get hard untill it entered his mouth, "now for a little foreplay" he started thrusting into Doug's mouth, and after about 20 minutes of this, he pulled out, now soft, and a red sticky substance was oozing from Doug's mouth. This time it was blood.

Then, since Mr. Dink can have multiple orgasms like a woman can, he got hard really quick. And this time started to cut more butter 1 inch, just for Doug's ass-crack, but he got excited, and dumped an entire bucket of "Old Country" brand butter into his asshole, holding it open so it got down in there, really deep. And Dink climbed up on the table and began stroking his dink, harder, harder, a little big of cum started to come out and he put his dick into Doug's ass, the cum lubricated it quite well. "You're pretty lose for a bitch, you must've done this b-before," he said he voice shaking as he emptied a clean gallon of semen into Doug's butthole cavity.

Mr. Dink made Doug suck him one more time, then was prepared to get back up and drill Doug again, when the alarm system went off. "They've come for me!" Doug exclaimed, momentarily forgetting his ass was bleeding and full of an old man's seed. "You motherFUCKER" said a pissed of, also horny Mr. Dink, "It's just a squirrel, it happens all the time."

But it was too late, Mr. Dink, completly naked, fully errect turned around, only to be riddled with bullets from Fozzie's tommy gun. He fell down and as he did, sperm came out of his penis, shrivelling up his testicles, and making him bone thing. Charlie wrapped Doug in a towel, and said "C'mon let's get you cleaned up"

They all stepped out into the unsuspecting world, the alarm still ringing. Mr. Dink began to expand back to normal size, and got up, as his bullet wounds started to close up and heal.

"So we have to play it hard," he said, as he looked at a picture of Elijah Wood on his workshop's wall, and started mastubating.


End file.
